I had a huge conversation in Chinese yesterday, woo hoo!, but...

it was with a three year old boy!
On some occasions, I do some substitute teaching at an evening school I used to work at. The managers have a three year old son called Jiaming. While I wait for my class to start, I usually try and speak to him.
In the past, whenever I tried speaking to him in English, he would just stare at me with a blank look, and if I tried in Chinese, it was a puzzled look. So when I saw him this time, I was expecting him to act as usual. However, I don't think his parents nor I expected him to react the way he did.

Me: (In English) Hello Jiaming

Jiaming: ....

(Chinese from now on)
Me: Hello Jiaming

Jiaming: ....

Me: What's this?

Jiaming: It's my bag

Me: ohhh

Jiaming: I went to Kenting today

Me: Really

Jiaming: Yes

Me: What did you do?

Jiaming: Play

Me: Did you swim?

Jiaming: Yes

Me: Was it fun?

Jiaming: A lot of fun

Me: Really?

Jiaming: Yes

Jiaming: What's that?

Me: My mp3 player, do you want to listen?

He moves away, I put it back in my ear, it falls out, he laughs

Jiaming: It fell down

Me: Yes it did

Jiaming the tries to pull it out of my ear

Me: No Jiaming, this is mine, its expensive, don't touch

He tries to touch it

Me: Jiaming, don't

He tries to grab it again (He's a cute kid, but bloody naughty)

I hide the mp3 player and change the subject

Me: Where is your mum?

Jiaming: She's upstairs

Me: and your dad?

Jiaming: Outside buying pizza

Me: Ohh sounds good, do you like pizza?

Jiaming: I like

Me: Who is that? (pointing to an old man on the other side of the room)

Jiaming: Grandfather

The grandfather is watching this strange conversation, trying to make sense of what is going on.

Jiaming sees I am chewing something. I am sure he wants some of my sweets.

Jiaming: Open your mouth, I want to see!

Me: No more, I ate it. A friend gave it to me and I don't have any more. It was chocolate

Jiaming: huh

Me: Chocolate

Jiaming: huh

Me: Choooo coooo lateeee

Jiaming: huh

I am getting ticked of, I hate it when people don't understand me because I haven't said a word in the correct tone. I pause for a moment, trying to think of the tones for chocolate

Me: Chocolate, do you like it?

Jiaming: I like it, but my mum says i cannot eat it

Me: (He understood, cool) Ohh, that's ashame

I pick up a kid's book with lots of colourful pages and flick through. At this point, Jiaming who has never come near me, sits himself between my legs, so that he too can read the book.
He then unconsciously begins to stroke my arm hair (I am sure this sounds weird, but taiwanese kids find it really soothing, it helps relax them; it must be the same when foreigners stroke
cats or dogs!). We begin to look at the book.

Jiaming: A big ship

Me: Wow, and it is blue

Jiaming: The boy is climbing the elephant

Me: Yes, and this boy is climbing a tree

Jiaming: He has big teeth (hippo)

Me: Yes he does

Jiaming: They are going down the slide

Me: They look happy

Jiaming: Of course

Then it hits him, I have hair on my arm, Taiwanese are not hairy, so why do I have hair?

Jiaming: You have hair on your arms and legs

Me: eerrr, Yes

Jiaming: Why?

Me: eerrrr, because I am a foreigner

He does not understand this

Jiaming: Why do you have hair?

Me: errr

Jiaming: Is it because hair from your head falls down and stays on your arms and legs?

Me: (Thats a better reason than I can come up with) Yes!

The conversation went on for another 15min, but it pretty much followed the lines of the above.